I felt sad this week when Andy became very interested in our landline phone and was constantly lifting it and listening to the dialling tone until it went to that continuous beep. I reflected with Jen on why he was doing it and realise it was probably another example of the repetitive behaviours that are a characteristic of his autism. I could not help thinking about how he can’t say hello or speak to someone on the phone though. Maybe he was wanting to speak but just couldn’t do it. Maybe he thought if you pick up the phone you can speak like everyone else and tell us all about his life, his hopes and wishes…….. The more I watched him the more it bothered me and left me thinking fuck autism it really sucks sometimes. I want to hear my precious boy speak to me, to call me daddy just once.
Sometimes you just have to let the emotion wash over you. I was fine a short while later.
Apologies to all my autistic friends. I love you all and mean no disrespect.